Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize