My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He shit in the fireplace
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
