So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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