I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
