I wannas sexs uuuuu
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
