Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wanna go halves on a baby?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
