what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
