ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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