Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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