Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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