Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
