giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize