Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
