Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
