It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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