so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just found a bag of teeth...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
