I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
