is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
