Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
