It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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