Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
