Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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