In the future we'll all be gay
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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