friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
