i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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