Three words: puerto rican gang bang
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
