Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
