i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
