Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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