bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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