And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
