new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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