Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize