This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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