A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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