I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
