her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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