Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need to sanitize my soul.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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