I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
