apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
