Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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