i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
