I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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