took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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