so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i dont even know how to be here
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
