He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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