like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
