He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
