I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
