what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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