I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
