just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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