Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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