How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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