Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
