I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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