so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
