he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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