Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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