So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize