Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
