Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
